10 signs of domestic abuse that women should look out for

When people think about domestic abuse, they usually concentrate on domestic violence. However, domestic abuse happens
whenever one individual in a marriage or intimate relationship tries to control and dominate the other person.

Domestic abuse and violence are used for one reason and one reason only: to maintain and gain total control over you. An abuser play does not “play fair.”

Abusers use intimidation, guilt, fear, and shame to weaken you and make you feel inferior. Your abuser might also hurt those around you, threaten you, or hurt you.

Domestic abuse usually increases from verbal abuse and threats to violence. And while physical injury might be the main danger, the psychological and emotional implications of domestic abuse are also severe.

Relationships that are emotionally abusive can destroy your self-esteem, resulting in depression and anxiety, and make you feel alone and helpless.

Nobody should have to put up with this type of pain, and your initial step to breaking free is recognising that your circumstance is abusive. As soon as you accept the reality of the abusive situation, look for the help you need.

Domestic abuse and violence do not show favouritism. Abuse takes place in same-sex partnerships and among heterosexual couples. It takes place within all economic levels, age ranges, and ethnic backgrounds. And while women tend to be more commonly victimised, men are also abused, particularly emotionally and verbally.

The major point of emphasis is that abusive behaviour is never acceptable, whether it is caused by an older adult, a
woman, a man, or a teenager. You deserve to feel valued, respected and safe.

10 signs of domestic abuse that women should look out for:

1. Lack of respect to your privacy
They might give you a call at peculiar hours “just to check in.” They might “just appear” at the workplace or other
areas unexpected to check up on you or refuse to depart when requested. If you keep asking them to leave, they might
make a scene or humiliate you in public. This behaviour is usually mistaken as romantic at first, possibly justified
by stating, “I had to hear your voice” or “I cannot be far from you.”

2. Abusers seek to rush the relationship
Abusers usually become attached to the relationship very fast and rush through the getting-to-know-you stages of
courtship to ensure you know very little regarding their family or past. They might mask this hurried behaviour as
intimate by stating “I have never felt loved like this by anybody or I cannot live without you”. They might want to
tie the knot or move in together immediately. They are very needy or emotionally dependent early in the relationship.
If you attempt to slow matters down, they will often cause you to feel like you are over-reactive. Threats of suicide
are also common.

3. They tend to isolate you
They want to wear down at your support network. To achieve this, they might deter you from being with friends and
family or might even start a conflict with them, leading them to avoid both of you. Abusers will usually try to take
control of your access to transportation and phones or will try to tell you where you can and cannot go. They can even
go as far as requesting others to watch you for them or monitoring your car’s mileage. Regular moves are another way
to make you stay isolated.

4. They want to be in charge of your money
Abusers try to restrict your options, which include your financial ability. They might attempt to cause trouble for
you at the workplace or encourage you not to work at all. They might even turn up at your workplace on pay day to
collect your salary. If you are on welfare or other financial help, they might make threats of reporting you to the
welfare services or other government bodies if you do not do what they want.

5. They are emotionally or verbally abusive
Verbal abuse usually begins long before any physical beating and is meant to wear away at your self-worth. Public
embarrassment (commenting negatively on your looks or calling you foolish in front of other people), making insulting
gestures either in front of other people or alone, yelling, name-calling, swearing, mockery, or blaming are all
indicators of imminent physical abuse. They might use verbal abuse to wear you down in quarrels or to make you feel
responsible. They might twist your words to place the blame on you. They hold back affection when they do not get
their way.

6. History of violence is common
Those who commit domestic violence tend to be violent in general. A history or record of abuse, assault, or fighting,
is an indication that they believe violence is a way to solve issues. Abusers might have detailed excuses for these
situations or criticise the person they assaulted by stating they “were provoked” or that they “had to.”

7. Mistreating your animals or property
They might break or throw things when annoyed. They might hit, shove, or kick animals out of rage or to get them to do
what they need. Destroying your property or hurting your pet is a way of hurting you.

8. They are extremely envious
Your relationships with others like family, friends, and even co-workers are threatening to them. They might blame you
for being unfaithful with friends or co-workers or prevent you from seeing them. Usually mistaken for protective or
romantic behaviour in the first phases of a relationship, jealousy may later be the valid reason used for violence.

9. Addiction to alcohol or drugs
Alcohol and drug abuse, while not a direct reason behind domestic violence, usually goes hand in hand with it. They
might blame their abusive or violent behaviour on the alcohol or drug use, stating, “I did not know what I was doing.
I was high,” or “I was drunk. I do not recall.”

10. Using force in intimacy
This behaviour consists of demanding sex when the partner is exhausted or sick, acting out fantasies where the partner
is helpless, restraining partners against their will during intimacy, or initiating sex when the partner is asleep.
The abuser might display little concern for the wishes of his partner and will use anger or sulking to manipulate

Many women in abusive relationships are suffering because they don’t speak up. This is because they are depressed,
drained, scared, ashamed and confused. What’s more, they mostly fear speaking out due to threats from their
controlling and manipulative partners. Look out for the above signs to identify domestic abuse. Please find the
courage to speak up when the time is right for you and heal from the domestic abuse.

You can schedule your free 45 minutes consultation discovery call to start the healing and transformational life you
deserve. We will clarify what your needs are and how you can be assisted.

Click here to book your call with Gwen.

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